“If you have read this far and are not exhausted by me, congratulations…” this stuck out to me because I think with a certain level of self awareness, you notice the things that you do or say and it makes you feel like people will have the same reaction as you. It’s the notion that because you don’t like and it’s tiring to you, that others will agree. I feel like that from time to time, but I think instead of focusing the awareness towards something negative we could turn into something positive (easier said than done). I am also here for the dramatics, because it might be that serious to anyone else but it is to you. I understand so much. But congratulations on making it around the sun again, Avan! I do hope you have a good one!
Happy Birthday! Maybe instead of an exorcism, start some art for yourself again? If that feels impossible, then make bad art on purpose—messy, ugly, ridiculous. Take the pressure off and create just for the sake of creating.
Not to get too bleak on main, but I think it's an indicator of our generation's state of mind that a few of us tend to dread(? resent?) our *special* day.
Millennials have been living through "unprecedented times" for at least two thirds of our lives. So many things have happened around us, time keeps on slipping through our fingers, and it's less and less likely we'll be able to leave a significant mark in a world that feels less and less kind with each passing day.
Or maybe I'm just projecting my own thoughts. Idk. But hey, happy birthday! May your next trip around the Sun be as gentle and fun as you need it to be.
Happy belated! I think you’re doing a great job of making stuff so far. Rest assured that there are many of us who appreciate what you make and the thought put into it.
If I may be dramatic for a sec: The hardest part about getting older for me is watching my loved ones grow older, too, which often requires me to consciously bring myself back to the present moment. I don’t want to lose the fullness of the beautiful moments I have with my loved ones today to painful thoughts about all of our inevitable end.
All of this to say that I truly believe mindfulness and being present in the Now is the key to personal peace. So next time you start to feel anxious about running out of time to create, try to ground yourself in the Now (you know there are many techniques of doing this. I was first taught in therapy and over the years collected many more techniques from different places). Try your best to put your energy into only this moment. Then, create in this moment. But don’t feel rushed. You have so much time- the present is infinite; the future never comes.
I understand this may not be what you want to hear, but I genuinely hope these words resonate with you.
Hebrews 4:14-16 NLT
So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Ephesians 3:17-19 NLT
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
I hope you had a happy birthday and that you have many more to come.
Happy belated birthday! I’m getting this book because your deep understanding of self reflects my intrusive thoughts (though, mine stay inside my head). Perhaps I’ll share them as well someday. Also, you’re one of the cool ones. Never change.
funnily enough february 9 is my birthday too, i turned 24 and all my birthday celebrations happened a week in advance so on my actual birthday all my loved ones weren't around and i had nothing to do but mope around and question my entire existence. i hate that we make such a big deal of birthdays and holidays too, it's too much pressure and puts too many expectations on a calendar day and just sets everyone up to be disappointed, and then feel guilty for being disappointed.
there's a conversation i remember from an old company of mine, when I took leave for birthdays of loved ones. my colleagues were all older than me, all my mother's age - all 5 of them mother's themselves - and said 'the older you get the less birthdays matter you know' and i wondered how disconnected my life is from theirs. call it generational differences or a piteous plight of gen zs, but for my friends and i birthdays were more about 'we survived another year of trauma, we kept breathing and now we're here' than just an indication of growing older.
i think birthdays are what you make of it and i agree it's so weird to cram everything, all the achievements and failures and celebrations and love of people and life well lived into one arbitrary day of celebration - like valentines or birthdays etc.
i've known people who hate theirs and those that celebrate an entire week - honestly at the end of the day i'm just happy that people are around every day.
so i just wanna say - congrats! you exist! thank you for existing and for letting us get to know you <3
Can relate but, it's comforting remembering that so many greats had their biggest accomplishments later in life...40s, 50s, 60s. I don't think getting older is a great way to measure how much time we have left to "make our mark" or whatever because at the end of the day, we simply don't know how much time we have. Do what you feel you need to do in the moment.
Besides, you've 100% already left at least one mark on this world.
“If you have read this far and are not exhausted by me, congratulations…” this stuck out to me because I think with a certain level of self awareness, you notice the things that you do or say and it makes you feel like people will have the same reaction as you. It’s the notion that because you don’t like and it’s tiring to you, that others will agree. I feel like that from time to time, but I think instead of focusing the awareness towards something negative we could turn into something positive (easier said than done). I am also here for the dramatics, because it might be that serious to anyone else but it is to you. I understand so much. But congratulations on making it around the sun again, Avan! I do hope you have a good one!
Well, happy solar return to you then
Salutations sun child.
Amazing. Congrats on another spin around our dying sun 🌞 💜
Happy Birthday! Maybe instead of an exorcism, start some art for yourself again? If that feels impossible, then make bad art on purpose—messy, ugly, ridiculous. Take the pressure off and create just for the sake of creating.
Happy (late) birthday Avan :)
Not to get too bleak on main, but I think it's an indicator of our generation's state of mind that a few of us tend to dread(? resent?) our *special* day.
Millennials have been living through "unprecedented times" for at least two thirds of our lives. So many things have happened around us, time keeps on slipping through our fingers, and it's less and less likely we'll be able to leave a significant mark in a world that feels less and less kind with each passing day.
Or maybe I'm just projecting my own thoughts. Idk. But hey, happy birthday! May your next trip around the Sun be as gentle and fun as you need it to be.
Blessed to have you and your art! Many happy returns.
Happy belated! I think you’re doing a great job of making stuff so far. Rest assured that there are many of us who appreciate what you make and the thought put into it.
If I may be dramatic for a sec: The hardest part about getting older for me is watching my loved ones grow older, too, which often requires me to consciously bring myself back to the present moment. I don’t want to lose the fullness of the beautiful moments I have with my loved ones today to painful thoughts about all of our inevitable end.
All of this to say that I truly believe mindfulness and being present in the Now is the key to personal peace. So next time you start to feel anxious about running out of time to create, try to ground yourself in the Now (you know there are many techniques of doing this. I was first taught in therapy and over the years collected many more techniques from different places). Try your best to put your energy into only this moment. Then, create in this moment. But don’t feel rushed. You have so much time- the present is infinite; the future never comes.
Avan,
I understand this may not be what you want to hear, but I genuinely hope these words resonate with you.
Hebrews 4:14-16 NLT
So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Ephesians 3:17-19 NLT
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
I hope you had a happy birthday and that you have many more to come.
Happy belated birthday! I’m getting this book because your deep understanding of self reflects my intrusive thoughts (though, mine stay inside my head). Perhaps I’ll share them as well someday. Also, you’re one of the cool ones. Never change.
happy unbirthday then
funnily enough february 9 is my birthday too, i turned 24 and all my birthday celebrations happened a week in advance so on my actual birthday all my loved ones weren't around and i had nothing to do but mope around and question my entire existence. i hate that we make such a big deal of birthdays and holidays too, it's too much pressure and puts too many expectations on a calendar day and just sets everyone up to be disappointed, and then feel guilty for being disappointed.
there's a conversation i remember from an old company of mine, when I took leave for birthdays of loved ones. my colleagues were all older than me, all my mother's age - all 5 of them mother's themselves - and said 'the older you get the less birthdays matter you know' and i wondered how disconnected my life is from theirs. call it generational differences or a piteous plight of gen zs, but for my friends and i birthdays were more about 'we survived another year of trauma, we kept breathing and now we're here' than just an indication of growing older.
i think birthdays are what you make of it and i agree it's so weird to cram everything, all the achievements and failures and celebrations and love of people and life well lived into one arbitrary day of celebration - like valentines or birthdays etc.
i've known people who hate theirs and those that celebrate an entire week - honestly at the end of the day i'm just happy that people are around every day.
so i just wanna say - congrats! you exist! thank you for existing and for letting us get to know you <3
Congratulations Avan and happy marker!
love you and your work. let me know if you need access to HRT supplies lol
Happy Womb Exit Anniversary!!!
Can relate but, it's comforting remembering that so many greats had their biggest accomplishments later in life...40s, 50s, 60s. I don't think getting older is a great way to measure how much time we have left to "make our mark" or whatever because at the end of the day, we simply don't know how much time we have. Do what you feel you need to do in the moment.
Besides, you've 100% already left at least one mark on this world.