i feel ur hatred of reviews and the general sentiment of pure extreme emotion over anything else is pushing me off several corners of the internet with which i used to interact with regularly. its all just feels like a contest for who can have the most extreme and least nuanced opinion while maintaining a following. its starting to feel like people get mad about things for the sake of being mad rather than causing meaningful change. these are all things that have been said before countless times but this access to so many different people with such ease is totally novel and somewhat concerning.
I agree 100% about reviews, especially with books. I spent the whole of last year writing book reviews but it got tiring— keeping up with book trends took the fun out of reading, and some books just don’t need a whole essay about them! enjoy it and take it with you! I actually wrote more about it in a post of mine, feel free to check it out here: https://structuredrambles.substack.com/p/a-journey-with-words
I like when you share your observations and your windows looking in to the human experience. It gets one thinking. As the previous commenter said, I too feel like there’s a similar mindset and you often do bring up topics that I typically also wouldn’t consider which then brings more thoughts on other topics that connect and can often lead down a rabbit hole of curiosity and discussion. I don’t speak for anyone but myself but feel that maybe those who have “stayed here” after your “forewarning” post all have that commonality of a similar mindset open to expanding what we know and learn from one another and maybe even discuss/share on those topics.
I never have had any experiences in bars. I’ve been to two different ones and it’s just not my scene. Though I haven’t had your experience of being invited to join in the evening by way of having a drink bout, I work in special Ed as a paraprofessional and it is such a human thing to do, including others in our “tribe”. All of the teenagers I work with are always eager to include people, even strangers, in their activities/day. They don’t care who you are and just start talking with people or inviting them to join in a game, on our campus walks, to join them for lunch... the list goes on and on. The innocence is so pure however my slightly more cynical mind and help but know that some are doing so because they have themselves been ostracized due to being different. That was my experience growing up not knowing that I may be autistic (can’t get a diagnoses due to cost of testing but when you work in special ed long enough, you learn and recognize the traits/symptoms pretty easily). I always wanted to include others to make sure no one missed out. I was my friend group’s “photographer” and made sure there was memories of times had, I made sure people knew when certain activities were happening as a lot of kids (again especially special Ed) don’t get told/included. Anyway I can keep going but think this comment is long enough. Open to discussion if anyone should feel like it. :)
I feel like the way you think about the world is very similar to my own mind but you think about topics I wouldn’t end up considering myself. I think that’s why I enjoy your posts so much. Hope all is well!
I love how your first paragraph underlines your understanding of human nature.
"Although I resist any conversation that tries to fence in or define what being a man is."
Plus, the whole "f*cking bitches" thing is one of the most pathetic summations of manhood anyone could offer.
I had no idea you felt that way in a bookstore, but I find it interesting. I can generally tell by a few pages if a book's style will keep me involved, so any fear I might have is usually of being disappointed down the road (if it's a serious concern, I'll generally preview the book more than usual or get more info online). Your own writing has a unique worth and I've been enjoying it a lot.
One of the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me was from someone at university a few years back who said I must be a really likeable person if Morissey was nice to me when we met. I thought that was funny then. Me, a Filipino immigrant living in New Zealand, meeting Moz at an airport. I bloody love The Smiths and yet 'this charming man' is such an asshole (and drama queen - there was some serious theatrics when he performed over here). Everytime I listen to The Smiths, an internal battle happens and I start going down the rabbit hole of art vs artist. Anyway. Kia ora from Auckland. Give me a bell if you need coffee/best restaurant recs!
People has their own opinion what a man should be, but what really define a man. Where he been and what has he learn during his time of living up until now grown.
A man can be a kid within, and a man can be a man as a young guy. Maturity reaches at a level in life. It what a person makes life to be, to become a man.
Personally, I watched my nephews grow up and do good in life. How they treat women and themselves.
And I have never felt so understood. The anxiety of the bookstore, hours of worry and trying to convince yourself that THIS time you won’t be bored after one chapter. Oh to be a real reader, the actual adult of my middle-aged mind. To be able to read anything in front of me with voracity. I have always envied real readers and their breezy ability to choose reading material.
you not gonna believe me how many references to "defining people" I read today. it's madness, you know. When a thought is recurrent in your head one day and suddenly people start to talk about it, it's just I don't know, this is a bless or a haunt? I can't figured it yet.
I live alone and love traveling alone. You're right about others wanting to include you which is both touching and annoying. Leave me alone with my vodka tonic and let me observe people silently....thank you very much...
i feel ur hatred of reviews and the general sentiment of pure extreme emotion over anything else is pushing me off several corners of the internet with which i used to interact with regularly. its all just feels like a contest for who can have the most extreme and least nuanced opinion while maintaining a following. its starting to feel like people get mad about things for the sake of being mad rather than causing meaningful change. these are all things that have been said before countless times but this access to so many different people with such ease is totally novel and somewhat concerning.
Nothing to add, just comparing definitions to putting a saddle on a horse is brilliant. Gonna marinate on that.
I agree 100% about reviews, especially with books. I spent the whole of last year writing book reviews but it got tiring— keeping up with book trends took the fun out of reading, and some books just don’t need a whole essay about them! enjoy it and take it with you! I actually wrote more about it in a post of mine, feel free to check it out here: https://structuredrambles.substack.com/p/a-journey-with-words
I like when you share your observations and your windows looking in to the human experience. It gets one thinking. As the previous commenter said, I too feel like there’s a similar mindset and you often do bring up topics that I typically also wouldn’t consider which then brings more thoughts on other topics that connect and can often lead down a rabbit hole of curiosity and discussion. I don’t speak for anyone but myself but feel that maybe those who have “stayed here” after your “forewarning” post all have that commonality of a similar mindset open to expanding what we know and learn from one another and maybe even discuss/share on those topics.
I never have had any experiences in bars. I’ve been to two different ones and it’s just not my scene. Though I haven’t had your experience of being invited to join in the evening by way of having a drink bout, I work in special Ed as a paraprofessional and it is such a human thing to do, including others in our “tribe”. All of the teenagers I work with are always eager to include people, even strangers, in their activities/day. They don’t care who you are and just start talking with people or inviting them to join in a game, on our campus walks, to join them for lunch... the list goes on and on. The innocence is so pure however my slightly more cynical mind and help but know that some are doing so because they have themselves been ostracized due to being different. That was my experience growing up not knowing that I may be autistic (can’t get a diagnoses due to cost of testing but when you work in special ed long enough, you learn and recognize the traits/symptoms pretty easily). I always wanted to include others to make sure no one missed out. I was my friend group’s “photographer” and made sure there was memories of times had, I made sure people knew when certain activities were happening as a lot of kids (again especially special Ed) don’t get told/included. Anyway I can keep going but think this comment is long enough. Open to discussion if anyone should feel like it. :)
I feel like the way you think about the world is very similar to my own mind but you think about topics I wouldn’t end up considering myself. I think that’s why I enjoy your posts so much. Hope all is well!
I love how your first paragraph underlines your understanding of human nature.
"Although I resist any conversation that tries to fence in or define what being a man is."
Plus, the whole "f*cking bitches" thing is one of the most pathetic summations of manhood anyone could offer.
I had no idea you felt that way in a bookstore, but I find it interesting. I can generally tell by a few pages if a book's style will keep me involved, so any fear I might have is usually of being disappointed down the road (if it's a serious concern, I'll generally preview the book more than usual or get more info online). Your own writing has a unique worth and I've been enjoying it a lot.
One of the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me was from someone at university a few years back who said I must be a really likeable person if Morissey was nice to me when we met. I thought that was funny then. Me, a Filipino immigrant living in New Zealand, meeting Moz at an airport. I bloody love The Smiths and yet 'this charming man' is such an asshole (and drama queen - there was some serious theatrics when he performed over here). Everytime I listen to The Smiths, an internal battle happens and I start going down the rabbit hole of art vs artist. Anyway. Kia ora from Auckland. Give me a bell if you need coffee/best restaurant recs!
People has their own opinion what a man should be, but what really define a man. Where he been and what has he learn during his time of living up until now grown.
A man can be a kid within, and a man can be a man as a young guy. Maturity reaches at a level in life. It what a person makes life to be, to become a man.
Personally, I watched my nephews grow up and do good in life. How they treat women and themselves.
I have been told opinions are like assholes everyone has one. Then to assume something it makes an ass out of you and me.
And I have never felt so understood. The anxiety of the bookstore, hours of worry and trying to convince yourself that THIS time you won’t be bored after one chapter. Oh to be a real reader, the actual adult of my middle-aged mind. To be able to read anything in front of me with voracity. I have always envied real readers and their breezy ability to choose reading material.
Ironic that you have to be alone to experience a strangers closeness.
:..(
you not gonna believe me how many references to "defining people" I read today. it's madness, you know. When a thought is recurrent in your head one day and suddenly people start to talk about it, it's just I don't know, this is a bless or a haunt? I can't figured it yet.
I live alone and love traveling alone. You're right about others wanting to include you which is both touching and annoying. Leave me alone with my vodka tonic and let me observe people silently....thank you very much...
slay queen!!!!!!
I love the “song of the day”, hopeful to see this component be continued in future posts.
We are all horses, that are being saddled