I have failed. I am back on instagram and what’s worst my screen is way up from before. The tiny black box has its onyx talons in me once again. Glowing and murmuring with some unknown hypnotic magic (dopamine response exploitation.)
“I need the phone, cause I write on the phone,” I tell myself. My hand writing is so incredibly bad, so please don’t suggest a moleskin or something. Also the idea of being a guy with tousled hair in a coffee shop writing in a journal makes me physically ill.
Even though to be fair everything about that stereotype tracks. Call it self loathing.
Anyway I need the phone to write. I mean I wrote a whole book on that thing. Mixed Feelings, my first poetry book, was written almost entirely on my phone, on set, between takes, or in a makeup chair.
So I need the phone. I just hate that it always ends with me scrolling any 1/3rd of my waking life. regardless, I’m back on instagram and it’s embarrassing. I am going to stop making huge proclamations on the internet about promises to change my ways or do things. I do it so that I am accountable to you all. So I can will it into reality. So I can be beholden to someone and follow through.
But no more, I am going to stop setting myself up for failure by making promises online.
Anyway, I’ve written a new book I am going to get published.
It’s hard to get away from things like social media in our time. I wouldn’t be as hard on yourself as it appears. Though I completely understand and admirer the holding yourself accountable. More people need to do that. I cannot wait to add another book of yours to myself and I look forward to what conversations it may start with those I know and how it may challenge my thinking. Best of luck! 🖤
Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all should try to limit the use of our phones. I’m on Twitter all day but that’s because I like to stay updated on the world, good or bad. Your IG presence is appreciated and looking forward to the new book!